Why seeking revenge is an addiction—and how to control it

The pursuit of revenge, often glorified in popular culture and political discourse, is far more than a fleeting emotion; it is, in fact, a deeply ingrained and dangerous addictive behavior, a truth elucidated by James Kimmel, Jr., a lecturer of psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine. Kimmel’s groundbreaking work, including the creation of The Nonjustice System and the Miracle Court app, positions revenge as a critical public health issue, demanding a fundamental shift in how society understands and addresses aggression and violence. This paradigm-altering perspective challenges traditional notions of justice and offers a path toward profound personal and societal healing through understanding and controlling this pervasive addiction.

Neuroscientific research reveals the alarming parallels between the craving for revenge and substance abuse. When individuals experience hurt or humiliation, the brain’s anterior insula, a pain-processing center, activates, prompting an innate desire for relief. Fantasizing about or enacting retaliation then triggers a surge of dopamine, illuminating the same neural pathways stimulated by highly addictive substances like opioids or cocaine. This neurochemical reward creates a short-lived “high” that quickly subsides, leading to a deeper craving and a perpetuating cycle of rumination. For some, this dopamine rush can render the desire for payback virtually irresistible, transforming otherwise peaceful individuals into perpetrators of extraordinary acts of violence, underscoring the urgent need to recognize revenge not merely as an emotion but as a treatable behavioral addiction.

Understanding revenge through the lens of addiction necessitates a radical re-evaluation of violence prevention strategies. For decades, societal responses have largely framed violence as a moral or social failing. However, if revenge-seeking follows established neurobiological pathways akin to substance use disorders, then violent acts emerge as the behavioral manifestations of an unrecognized and untreated addiction. This profound insight opens doors for applying the advancements made in addiction science—such as cognitive behavioral therapy, motivational interviewing, peer support, and even anti-craving medications—to manage and interrupt revenge cravings. Embracing this science-based framework, much like the revolution spurred by the brain disease model of addiction, offers an expanded toolbox for effective intervention and mental health support, promising a new era in violence prevention.

America, in particular, grapples with a profound societal revenge addiction, woven into the fabric of its institutions and popular culture. The legal system, often perceived as an arbiter of justice, frequently functions as a conduit for selling revenge, while political discourse is increasingly fueled by grievance and the language of “getting even.” Beyond institutional frameworks, entertainment, from superhero sagas celebrating vengeance to social media platforms that reward public shaming, normalizes and even glorifies retaliatory behavior. These pervasive cultural scripts create a dangerous feedback loop, propagating grievances and fostering an environment where cycles of hate and aggression become deeply entrenched. Breaking this cycle demands a collective effort to dismantle these ingrained narratives and cultivate new stories centered on healing rather than harm.

Amidst this pervasive cycle, forgiveness emerges as a powerful antidote, a “superpower” with verifiable neurological benefits. Far from being merely a moral virtue, modern neuroscience confirms that the act of forgiveness is profoundly healing. Brain scan studies show that even the imagination of forgiving a grievance deactivates the brain’s pain and craving networks associated with revenge, while simultaneously activating the prefrontal cortex—the seat of executive function and self-control. This internal process significantly reduces symptoms of stress, anxiety, PTSD, and even various physical ailments. Crucially, forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself; it doesn’t absolve the perpetrator or require their knowledge, but rather frees the forgiver from the self-inflicted damages of holding onto resentment and revenge desires.

Before any real-world act of revenge manifests, it is typically rehearsed within what Kimmel terms “the courtroom of the mind.” This internal arena is where individuals mentally prosecute those who have wronged them, playing every role from victim to executioner, culminating in imagined sentences. While seemingly harmless, these internal trials can have severe real-world consequences, often preceding acts of aggression. To counter this destructive internal process, Kimmel developed The Nonjustice System (NJS) and the free Miracle Court app. These tools utilize guided role-play to transform the “courtroom of the mind” into a space for safe pain processing, the release of destructive cravings, and the exploration of forgiveness. By harnessing the power of imagination and neuroscience, these interventions aim to rewire the mental machinery of revenge, redirecting individuals toward well-being and recovery rather than perpetuating cycles of harm.

Ultimately, Kimmel’s work underscores that the true victim of a revenge narrative is often the individual consumed by it. By recognizing revenge as an addiction—a treatable condition with deep neurobiological roots—society can move beyond moral judgments and embrace evidence-based approaches to violence prevention and mental health support. Shifting our cultural narrative from one that glorifies payback to one that champions healing, accountability, and true forgiveness is not just an ideal, but a tangible pathway to fostering a more peaceful and harmonious society, freeing individuals from the self-inflicted damages of grievance and retaliation.